Infancy

People are no more then a summation of their experiences.
I am no different.
But my experiences have shown me that i am clearly lacking the experiences to be able to consider myself an adult.
My mind is still in its fragile infant stages whilst my physical shows me as a confidant young lady. I am the jack of all trades yet master at none.
I am the composition of the expectations of my familiars which makes me thoroughly transparent yet still shrouded in mystery.
There are many a word exchanged about me, yet none of these Chinese whispers amount to any sort of truth even though people tend to take it as face value.
To know what i have done does not turn me into the very lies i am trying to escape. To know that I am more then ordinary, that i can escape the stereotype and be the person i aspire to.

My physical might show a confidant young lady, but i am still a infant. and i need to be protected

Wedding fever

I'm not sure who told me this, but apparently this year, according to Chinese horoscopes, that people in long term relationships either break up during this year or will definitely get married.

The thought is scary right. So far I've seen this prediction to be true, so many couples are spitting up or seem to be very shaky despite the years and years of being perfectly happy. Even I had a big breakup this year, which even though was for the best, hurt like hell.

So you could see this year as a clean up year, a year where all people who aren't meant to be but are just holding onto each other anyways get a kick up the butt to split up. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing because as we all know when one door closes another one opens up. Something i can also relate to.

So why all the relationship talk you may ask? Well... This year has been by far the year that I've heard the most wedding talk, so you tend to start comparing and thinking of your own.

A couple of weeks ago I went to a wedding with Dai which co-incidentally was also one of Fonseena's cousins. Such a gangster wedding if you ask me, It was a sea of spiked hair and tattoos (i have x-ray vision) They had great entertainment thought, Brazilian dancer and drummers and a really cute singer with a totally hot dress. The venue was good but very crowded for the amount of people there which made walking around very difficult and the dance floor hard to access. oh and the bridesmaid dressed were realllyyy pretty !

The dancers !

Fonseena + I

They're next! heheh

hes so cute (and a poser)

I'm definitely getting dancers at my wedding. Since i love dancing so much i might perform myself heheh.. proberly not a good idea in my planned 20K wedding dress thought.. heheh..

I also want a really traditional church ceremony, which is a shame because i don't go to my local church anymore (even though i should ><) but i also want a traditional Chinese ceremony to celebrate my roots. Not to mention i think the dresses are uber pretty. Asher did that for his wedding - one church wedding and one traditional Cambodian wedding. It just added to the meaningfulness of the day. Agreeing to perform a long and tedious ceremony where people make you wear something that resembles a mix between genie pants and a massive diaper, have random relatives throw things at you and pretend to cut your hair is what you call love !!

The happy couple - all blinged uP !

The fairytale church wedding

The wedgie pants - makes peeing a bitch !

Outfit 3 ? 4 ?

Retarded Malaysian air hostess much ?

Weddings are so exhausting to organize, i don't know how people do it ! I'm considering having a quicky Vegas wedding, Save time and stress and we can go to a strip club after ! lol. But then it would rob me of the best dress up of my life - my wedding dress. No normal girl in her right mind could say she never dreamed of walking down the isle in a vintage couture wedding dress

I want to look like this on my wedding day !

My parents went to a wedding of a family friend's daughter and they came home with these...


These lasted a total of 15minutes when they got home =] aren't they pretty! I want to make some of my own! wonder where i can do that at ? I think they are such a cute present for the guests! personally i would give them something that would last longer though.. but then again im sure it lasted longer then 15minutes in most households because the bottles were quite full to begin with , i think i ate like 7 before i could stop myself and take the picture.

God all this wedding talk is making me feel so old !

-- kitty xx

Fin !

Today was the final day of my radiation therapy which marks the end of my treatment for the time being which is definitely a cause to celebrate !

So far I've had - One brain surgery, Two weeks in hospital, Six weeks of Steriotactic radiotherapy, Tens of MRIs and CT's, Countless Appointments for various doctors and hundreds of injections. So thinking that this is going to end for awhile bring a little peace.

Believe it or not i actually felt somewhat nostalgic when leaving for the last time, Knowing it will be the last time i'll be walking down the halls of Westmeade hospital, into radiation oncology into LA1 (the machine i was on) and having them shoot radiation into my tumor while i'm strapped into a skintight mask.

... actually... doesn't sound so good when i think about it that way ...

nonetheless, it was kinda sad walking out for the last time because the radiologist from the other teams that treated me first all came in to say bye to me. i almost cried..

that was until , i was informed by a friend in a DIFFERENT hospital in the same faculty that people were "discussing" (read: bitching) about my "eccentric" dress sense !

That's so mean !! how did news of my dress sense reach different hospitals ?! I swear people gossip so much !

Just because i came in to treatment for the first two weeks dressed as a Japanese schoolgirl, the next two weeks in business wear and the last two weeks in black top to bottom does not give them an excuse to mock me ! so mean >< !

So what if i dress "eccentric" ?! i think everyday should be like a dress up party ! they are just jealous they have to come into work everyday wearing the same navy blue pants, the same white polo and the same navy sweater ! (gosh that sounds like my school uniform!)

I can already tell which radiologists it was! but it doesnt bother me ! everyone is entitled to their own opinion ! and i've become accustomed to the gossip over the years...

People will always talk, it's up to you whether you want to let it effect you or not.

Don't get me wrong, i love listening to gossip as much as anyone does, but when it comes to assuming i know the personality of the person in question, gossip usually is misleading. Ive had many experiences where i hear a whole bunch of incriminating things about people only to find out when i meet them that they are as sweet as pie. I'm pretty sure people have realized the same about me as well.

As a past boyfriend stated "before i got to know you i thought you were this empty shell of partying and drinking, but know i know you, i find that you have substance" That was something I will never forget him saying. I realized all the gossiping in the world couldn't harm me if they ones who i truly care about knew me for exactly what i was.

The only thing that upsets me is when people make assumptions. Not only about me but about my friends and people i care about. I wont go into them in detail because its not worth talking about.

Anyways, Enough about depressing stuff ! Kitty needs to sleep =]

--kitty xx

Lazy weekend in

Believe it or not i pretty much stayed in all weekend. Surprising considering i was downing drinks like a fish the last two months ! Treatment on Friday took forever and by the end of it i wanted nothing more then to crawl back into the warm security of my bed. After seeing Asher at Parramatta during his lunch break i headed home and spent the rest of the day and night doing facials and furiously trying to finish reading the 5th Harry Potter [yes, i know I'm behind!] Stupid Asher said my skin tone was uneven and now I'm overly paranoid and resorting to packing on the powder knowing perfectly well his plan was to make me self conscious.
I slept so early I woke up at 6am by an SMS from Dai but managed to force myself back to sleep for another 6 hours until i was woken up by a call from asher, which i then proceeded to go back to sleep until he banged on my front door 15minutes later, which meant i had no choice but to get up let him in and go back to sleep. Ahaha it took about 20minutes of verbal abuse to get me up *sigh* i should have woken up at 6am instead ><' So after an hour of trying on everything at the top of my clean laundry pile twice we headed out. I only expected it to be me and Asher but we were pleasantly surprised with company from Ryan, Sharlene and Wendy =] So the girls shopped and the boys.. ? well not sure what they got up to .. So fun catching up with everyone, since i hardly ever see any of them anymore. We even got to see Sharlene and her sexy new bike *droolz* I wish I wasn't so uncoordinated, I'd get one too.

Sexy !

Sunday i spent the whole day at home, resting up for what i am sure will be an exhausting week.
And i did my nails =] pink and purple with glitter and stars ! I know they will only stay pretty for about two days ! but its worth the hour and a half i spend painting and repainting them obsessively ! Its so easy doing my right hand but it's a bitch doing the left one, So i took a picture of the better hand hehe...

Pretty right ? =]

My little Nail Kit

Asher gave me this box for Christmas. Its so funky !

I got this stupid virus on my computer.. its called FUN.xls or something.. arhhh its screwing everything up. Its also infected a whole bunch of my Memory sticks as well... I'm so dumb cause at first i thought it was my memory stick so i stuck in another one to test, which didn't work either, but being the slow person I am i still wasn't convinced so i stuck another one in and it didn't work either which is when i realized something wasn't right ! So in effect I've infected 3 memory sticks with the Virus ! Ahhh .. . stupid stupid stupid !

Now I gotta get Asher over to fix everything =.<

-- kitty xx